Well here we are. 8 months into a global health crisis, amidst incredibly heart wrenching yet deeply needed rounds of race uprising and a flittering version of our American democracy for all to argue about at dinner tonight! What a year to be grateful, isn’t it?? I mean, isn’t it, really!!

This year has been….hard, for all of us! No one has not been affected by some crazy, asteroid size feeling of life shift from the myriad of upsets this year; and we can likely also all agree that the word ‘upset’ is a vast understatement to the lives lost, jobs and homes uprooted.The unsettled, swirling and endless days, as the unmoored feeling of our worlds’ being turned upside down and inside out continues. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist or even a poet to know it. The shit hit the fan this year and we are all part of the global clean up crew, if we like it or not. Thanks, Covid.

As a small business in the large event and wedding world, my little production company has been growing steadily into a world wide brand. No matter, 2020 had different growth plans for me and my team. Our books went from mostly full to mostly empty as so many around the world stayed home and postponed large gatherings. At first, I wasn’t worried. I was, in fact, relieved that the endless, burnout cycle we call capitalism had a forced time out. And I still do believe that our carrying capacity is being tested. This is just a test, albeit a long, drawn out and very unfunny test of patience, will and kindness, yea kindness. Bank accounts have grown small, resources meant for rainy days are put into action and the scarcity mindset tries to sneak in every day, even though I know there is plenty. I've had a solid sense of anxiety plaguing me since March 10 this year and I bet you have, too. As I sit to reflect on how grateful I am to have what I do have, I am actually a bit more worried for the long game of the world of events and yet, at the same time, more hopeful than ever for the future of my creative process, my business and thus, the world. Thanks, Covid.

Like so many of us in most any industry, my team and I had all but one project fully canceled and or postponed to 2021. I have to admit, I was reluctant at first to mask up and show up for the one, remaining project. Then I realized not only is it my job to show up and document, in this case a beautiful wedding day, but also that love always wins. This one micro wedding, in all its beautiful backyard glory with just the inner circle of family and close friends was exactly the very essence of what a wedding truly is. Strip away the ultra lux wedding venue, the over the top floral arrangements, a trolly or two overflowing of bubbly, wedding party participants to tour the most photographic locations and more spray tans than is ever ok in one holy place of worship, and you have just the couple and the people they hold dear. All the rest, as they say, is icing on the cake.

When G + E put their postponed, then canceled wedding date back on the calendar, I did choose to mask up and show up because what they ultimately chose to celebrate is the exact essence of why I started my wedding business in the very first place; because of love. And that aliveness of connection, Covid cannot take, break or destroy. In fact, if there was ever a time to show up and mask up, this is the time. I knew this in my gut before I arrived with my team to capture the day but, honestly, I sort of lost track of that feeling whilst directing my crew, doing math, being creative, playing customer service and oh, yea wearing that mask whilst slanging a few cameras!

Don’t get me wrong, the day was beautiful; the light exactly right with slightly overcast skies, perfectly popping fall hues of deep magenta and crispy gold, the year’s CUTEST flower girl and ring bearer crew and, of course, customized masks for the entire guest list. And then days later, when I sat in the editing room to cull in all our media, I recalled that gut feeling that made me show up and mask up, the essence of the wedding, the reason for the friggin' season people: LOVE. I am not over exaggerating or being dramatic when I tell you I had tears streaming down my face, big heart feels of gratitude and appreciation to know the work I do makes me feel my own humanity and therefore, it must make you feel. Humanity for humanity’s sake has a very incredible feeling to it and I’m so very glad I get to show up and be human, at least once this year! I even took off my yoga pants!! Thanks, Covid.

I opted for a career in the arts over one in politics because I wanted to make changes in smaller, concentric circles; true story, double major in Political Science and Photography. I took a hard left turn and haven’t had a chance to look back, until now. Thanks, Covid. Though here I sit studying the essence of my current business. Is it worth keeping, will it survive another 8 months like this and who cares anyway!!?? It’s more evident than ever that we have many bigger issues to tackle in our collective experience here on earth. With all this time to reflect, shift my focus and lead my remaining team onto other projects, I see that there are many more moments for us to feel our own humanity. There are projects calling for more air time and quality content; it's a space of endless possibility for a burgeoning producer like myself, having cut my own teeth in professional media production in the large event space, always keeping that back bone of political engagement through our shared humanity alive and well. I remain inspired by all my projects and it's not a coincidence that the one wedding we had this year served as a resounding reminder of why I do what I do. It's also not serendipitous that of the other few projects my team and I created this year, my lead role as director of photography feels very right. These few projects seemed to have dropped from the sky and that shows me not only do I have a lot of work yet to do, but the world also needs critical thinkers, visionaries and creatives now more than ever.

& I do have hope! I have hope that we as humans are resilient, we are adaptable and we ultimately know how to work with the essence of our own humanity. It’s the reason G + E kept their date and said “I do” in the most authentic way humanly possible, it’s why we are still meeting around tables that will have hard conversations today and it is why we keep trying to do better tomorrow. Thanks, Covid.

Whilst this may be my last blog entry for RP+ V, it most certainly is not the last Thank You note I will write. 2020 has been one helluva year and the lessons offered so far have been painful, scary, wild and incredibly sacred. Never before has a world so closely connected and intertwined shared an experience at the level of this global crisis. Each of our worlds' so small yet vast and then instantly world wide (Hello, Zoom. I love to hate you! ) If we look for more than the silver lining, if we look for the reason we do what we do, I think maybe, just maybe, we can see even more of our humanity and be ever so grateful for what we do have; shared experiences, community, fresh air, clean water and hope for our collective future. Thanks, Covid.

I look forward to tomorrow, to the days ahead to build a new world that works for us all and celebrates those who have come before us by cherishing the hard lessons we've learned through our shared humanity.

love,

Rose